How Old Are The Current Supreme Court Justices

Let's talk about the Supreme Court, that mysterious group of nine wizards in black robes who decide, you know, everything. You probably picture them as ancient beings who remember when the internet was a rumor. And honestly? You’re not entirely wrong.

The Jurassic Era (Sort Of)

Meet the old guard, starting with Justice Clarence Thomas, born in 1948. That makes him a spry 76 years old, which is roughly the same age as your grandpa’s philosophy about "the good old days." He has been on the bench so long that his first robe probably had bell-bottoms.

Then there’s Justice Samuel Alito, a young-ish 74-year-old (born 1950). He’s the guy who looks like he just smelled a bad review of his lawn care. Fun fact: He and Thomas have a combined age that’s older than sliced bread, but just barely.

The "Wait, They’re That Old?" Squad

Justice Sonia Sotomayor is 70 (born 1954), which is surprising because she still looks like she could out-run you—and then sue you for jaywalking. She’s the Court’s most senior liberal, and she’s been there long enough to have opinions on opinions.

Chief Justice John Roberts is a baby-faced 69-year-old (born 1955). He’s the boss, the guy who has to keep everyone from throwing their quills at each other. At 69, he’s technically middle-aged—if you expect to live to 138.

Justice Elena Kagan hits 64 this year (born 1960). She’s the cool aunt of the Court who probably cracks jokes about the Gilded Age and then writes a 50-page opinion on it. She’s also the only justice who can still remember the exact lyrics to a 1980s power ballad.

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The Millennials (Sort Of)

Hold your horses. Justice Neil Gorsuch is 57 (born 1967). That is technically Gen X, which is like being a forgotten middle child of generations. He’s the guy who probably still has a flip phone for emergencies.

Justice Brett Kavanaugh is 60 (born 1965). He’s the one who’s old enough to have a midlife crisis but young enough to buy a sports car and argue it’s a "textualist" decision.

Then we hit the spring chickens: Justice Amy Coney Barrett at 53 (born 1972). She’s the first justice who likely owned a Walkman in high school, not a record player. She’s young enough to know what TikTok is, but wise enough to never admit it.

The Major Supreme Court Decisions in 2024 - The New York Times

And the absolute baby: Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, born 1970, is just 54. She’s the Court’s youngest, which in this group means she still has to explain what "meme" means during lunch breaks.

The Shocking Math

Let’s do the terrifying arithmetic. The average age of the Supreme Court is 63.7 years. That’s older than the retirement age most of us dream about. Collectively, these nine people have seen 24 different presidents, two World Wars, and the invention of the selfie stick.

Want a joke? If you added up all their ages, you’d get 574 years. That’s older than the United States itself by about a century. They could legitimately form a rock band called "The Original Intent" and tour retirement homes.

Supreme Court: A look at where the current justices stand and the

The weirdest part? They’re all appointed for life. So unless they pull a "Houdini" or get bored, we’re stuck with them until they start collecting Social Security—which, for some, was already happening when Nixon was president.

So, Are They Out of Touch?

Probably. But honestly, would you trust a 30-year-old TikTok influencer to interpret the 14th Amendment? Neither would I. The Court is like a fine wine: expensive, confusing, and best enjoyed by people who’ve been alive long enough to remember when wine came in boxes.

Final verdict: They’re old, they’re powerful, and they outlast most houseplants. Don’t worry—they’ll still be deciding your grandkids’ internet rights while you’re napping in a chair. Cheers to the nonagenarians-in-waiting.