How Old Is Howie Long The Football Player
Let’s be honest: Howie Long looks like he was carved out of granite by a dude who was really angry at a rock. You see him on Fox NFL Sunday, barking analysis next to Terry Bra...
Let’s be honest: Howie Long looks like he was carved out of granite by a dude who was really angry at a rock. You see him on Fox NFL Sunday, barking analysis next to Terry Bradshaw, and you think, “This guy has been 45 years old since 1987.” But the math behind the man is both shocking and hilarious. So, just how old is Howie Long, the football player?
He’s currently 64 years old, born on January 6, 1960. Yes, the same year the first laser was invented and “The Andy Griffith Show” premiered. If that makes you feel ancient, don’t worry—it makes Howie feel ancient, too, and he’s the one who used to fold quarterbacks like lawn chairs.
The “Old” That Fooled You
Here’s the weird part: Howie Long has looked like a grizzled veteran since he was a rookie. When he entered the NFL in 1981, he looked 35. By 1993, when he retired, he looked 45. Now he’s 64 and he looks… 50. He’s Benjamin Button in reverse, aging to a perfect TV-ready face and then stopping.
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Surprising fact: He retired at only 33 years old. That’s basically a teenager in quarterback years. He knew his body couldn’t take a 34th birthday, so he hung up the cleats and immediately walked into a Fox studio wearing a suit jacket that fit even better than his shoulder pads.
The “Old-Man Strength” Thing Is Real
Let’s talk about what 64 looks like in Howie Long’s world. Most 64-year-olds are complaining about their sciatica. Howie Long is still built like a fire hydrant that bench-pressed a Honda Civic. He’s the guy who could probably still sack a quarterback while simultaneously explaining the “Cover 2” defense. It’s honestly unfair.
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But don’t let that confuse you. The man is old enough to be the grandfather of half the current NFL roster. He’s just doing it with a haircut that costs more than a used car and a smile that says, “I’m going to scare you, but then we’ll laugh about it.”
Wait, He Has Sons Who Are Also Giants?
Here’s where the timeline gets truly bonkers. Howie Long’s son, Chris Long, retired from the NFL in 2019. That’s like Zeus having a son who also throws lightning bolts. Chris is 39 now—meaning Howie was only 25 years old when he became a dad. That’s younger than most TikTok influencers are today.
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His other son, Kyle Long, finished his NFL career just a few years ago. So for a moment, there were two active NFL players sired by a man who was already wearing suits on TV when they were in diapers. If that doesn’t make you question the fabric of time, I don’t know what will.
How Is He Still This Entertaining?
Part of the fun is that Howie Long doesn’t act 64. He’s not telling you to get off his lawn. He’s on your TV, calling plays, and occasionally threatening to fight a producer over a bad chair. His age gives him the perfect mix of wisdom and menace. He’s old enough to know the game, but still young enough to pretend he could break your arm for disagreeing with him.
Howie Long Football Player
The Final Verdict
So, how old is Howie Long? 64 years, 10 months, and a few oatmeal breakfasts that he probably eats while doing push-ups. He’s not old-old. He’s “I’ve been in your living room for 30 years” old. He’s the age where your dad says, “That guy is my age!” and your mom says, “Why don’t you dress like Howie Long?”
In short, Howie Long is the exact same age as a secret government experiment in durable leather. He’s going to keep hosting Fox NFL Sunday until the sun burns out, and he’ll probably still have fewer wrinkles than a raisin. The man is timeless, and by timeless, I mean he’s 64 and still terrifyingly fit. Deal with it.