How Old Is The Oldest Person In The World Today

So, you’re wondering about the oldest person alive today, huh? Maybe you’re trying to figure out your own chances of outliving your mortgage. Well, grab your coffee and put down the kale smoothie—this gets weird.

As of right now, the world’s oldest verified living person is Maria Branyas Morera—a sprightly 117-year-old from Spain. That’s right, she was born in 1907, which means she’s been around longer than the invention of sliced bread. (Seriously, that happened in 1928.) She’s outlived two world wars, the flu pandemic of 1918, and probably more fashion trends than your grandmother’s attic can hold.

But here’s the kicker: Maria doesn’t have a secret longevity potion or a deal with the devil. Her advice is hilariously boring. She says her secret is “order, tranquility, good connections with people, and avoiding toxic people.” So basically, she’s just really, really good at ghosting drama. And apparently, she’s a fan of yogurt. I guess that’s the Spanish equivalent of binge-watching Netflix in your pajamas.

How do we even know who’s the oldest?

Great question, and the answer is: they check the receipts. Seriously, the Gerontology Research Group (aka the “birthday police”) verifies these claims with birth certificates, census records, and sometimes even old baptismal papers. It’s like a really nerdy episode of Law & Order: Senior Citizens Unit.

Ethel Caterham, 115, becomes world's oldest person and shares her tips

Now, here’s a surprising fact that will blow your mind: the oldest human ever was a French woman named Jeanne Calment, who lived to 122 years and 164 days. She died in 1997, and according to her, her secrets were port wine, olive oil, and chocolate. She literally said, “I never have to diet—I just eat what I want.” So if you’re looking for a role model, it’s the woman who drank wine like it was a sport. She also took up fencing at age 85. Fencing. At 85.

But wait—is Maria really the oldest?

Technically, yes. But there’s always an asterisk. For example, some people claim to be older, like a man in Indonesia named Mbah Gotho, who said he was 146. But nobody could prove it, and his ID card was probably just a typo. The official title means you have to submit paperwork so ancient it’s practically fragile.

Oldest Man Alive Today

So, what’s the takeaway here? Well, you can try to become the world’s oldest person by following Maria’s advice: avoid toxic people, eat yogurt, and stay out of drama. Or you can go full Jeanne Calment and just live on wine and chocolate. Honestly, both sound pretty good to me.

Oh, and one more thing: don’t forget good genes. Maria’s mother lived to 94, so sometimes the universe just hands you a winning lottery ticket at birth. And if you’re reading this at 30, you still have 87 years to perfect your yogurt recipe. Start now—I’ll be in the corner, eating cake.